The Fear of Starting
a new creative project…
What if it’s rubbish? What if I have nothing to say? What if I don’t know how to finish? What if I can never make it good? What if I freeze? What if I run out of ideas? What if, what if, what if?….
How many of us can relate to this sort of anxiety-driven procrastination? I know I can! We live in such a perfection driven society that all too often tricks our brains into believing that if we can’t do something perfectly, we’d be better off not bothering at all.
But take a look around you… Where is the perfection?!!
Spoiler alert… it doesn’t exist. We are human and that means being messy and imperfect by definition. NOBODY is getting ANYTHING done perfectly. They’re either stuck imagining something perfect or they are actively creating something imperfect - those are the only real options. Yes, some things become popular and famous and some things may even be referred to as genius somewhere down the line. But the fact is that the person who made that ‘genius’ thing had to get past their own fear of what might or might not happen too.
It’s true that when you start a new creative project - or anything new for that matter - you don’t know how that thing is ultimately going to turn out, or where it’s going to lead. It’s true that it might end up turning out to be rubbish. Or it might be amazing. Or it might be average. It might be criticised. It might be applauded. It might be completely and utterly ignored. And guess what - it doesn’t matter. Why don’t we all just take the bloody pressure off of creativity for once? If you have a go at something and it doesn’t work out, who cares? Have a go at something else!
One of the biggest things I’ve personally had to overcome in this arena is the struggle to start something when I can’t see how the whole thing is going to turn out. I like to understand things, I like to know how things work in excruciating detail. In some ways this is an advantage; in the starting of a new creative project - not so much. Because trying to predict and control the outcome of a creation right at the starting line is a surefire way to kill inspiration (trust me, I know). I’ve also now learned, from the experience of writing ALL THE THINGS I WASN’T, that often what you start out trying to create becomes something entirely different by the time it’s done - but if you never start, you’ll never get to know what your thing could be!
So, how about this - you just start. You write a bad sentence. You draw a crappy picture. You play an instrument badly. Then you do it again. And again. And then maybe you find something you like in what you’ve done and you start to refine it. And before you know it you realise that you’re not at the start anymore. You might not have a work of genius just yet (and it really doesn’t matter if you ever do) but you are no longer on the starting line chewing your nails - you’re in the game.
Amy
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